Many Roles of the Mohican Woman

As my Victoria Renee grows in my daughter's belly, I fantasize about the things we can do together (at any age). I have know for a long time that I have four different Native American tribes that I can be linked to. One of my descendent tribes is from the Mohicans. I often wonder what the Grandmother's role in those societies from back then. I have found that although the men hunted, traded and fought in wars, the women of the Mohican tribe basically took care of the farming, property and family dynamics. The women were also the 'leaders' of the tribe. The men might think they were the “head” of their institution but it is definitely the women who makes sure there is food from the garden, clean living arrangements, helped the children create their own artwork, music and were able to make the traditional medicine that they needed. They were both (mother and father) in charge of story-telling of past, present and future. But I have a feeling the grandmother's played a very important part in the children's lives. They were responsible for creating the laws of the land within the tribe. It is true, though that men were always the chiefs but the Mohican woman of today can be a politician if she wishes. The best part (in my opinion) in being a Mohican woman in those times had got to be the art. They are known for their beadwork on different articles of clothing, bags, baskets and many other accessories. Wampum beads are known to be traded as a type of currency though some believe that it is more culturally important as art rather than moneys. As beautiful as they are, they are often created for the next generation only to be told as a story in a representation of a person's family or an incident. They were a very matrilineal tribe so they believe (which I could see) the clan comes from the mother. Whatever your mother was born into means that is what you are born into...for instance if a man marries a Mohican woman, it is tradition that he must move to her village and everything must go to the woman, even the children. Fortunately the man must marry into another clan. This is important because a wolf clan member may not marry another wolf clan member as a bear can not marry another bear because they are considered brother and sister in the end. I am so proud to know that these are my roots because of their position when it comes to women. To them, they believe that a woman created the world. One day I will write another post on this exciting subject, the Ajinjagaayonh or A Matured Flower. In many stories she is referred as 'Sky-Woman'. http://mohawkwcs.wikispaces.com/Family+and+Community+Roles http://www.bigorrin.org/mohican_kids.htm

Day of Dread: Getting a Glucose Test at 7 months pregnant

Aaarrrgggh! I am not a morning person but today is a very important day for my daughter and grand daughter's life to get her Glucose tested at a Knoxville hospital. I was seriously dreading this day. Dragging herself out of bed only to run on a few hours of sleep, my daughter comes in my room to wake me up five minutes before the alarm goes off. Crawling out of the warm covers, I reach for my glasses and turn off the alarm before it starts blaring. My daughter is in a pretty good mood this morning at 6 am which is rather surprising to me. We both prepared Mommy (seven month preggers)for this day by making sure we set our clothes out the night before; took our showers and made sure we crossed our “T's” and dotted our “I's”. My mother, who plays a pivotal role in our lives, texted to tell us she was on her way to pick us up to bring us to the hospital in the city. “Omw” read the text from one of my best friends. I locked the door to my apartment while my daughter ran downstairs with her purse and lunch in hand. She was instructed to fast and hasn't eaten since midnight last night so I wanted to prepare a small lunch for her. We found a parking spot in the garage next to the hospital. Although my daughter was in a rather up-beat mood, she mentioned that she wasn't looking forward to the orange concoction that she had to drink and the nurse drawing blood from her arm by the hour. She started the test at 8 am and ended at 11:30 am. Although it was grueling for her while we waited in the lobby, I could imagine how grueling it must be for her not being able to eat anything. When my daughter drank the orange Glucose drink, my grand daughter jumped back and forth, rolling around as if she was doing jumping jacks or somersaults. She was very active and it wasn't hard to see why. Hours later, my daughter is warm in her bed taking a nap after eating a submarine sandwich from Publix supermarket. We stopped there on the way home from the hospital to get her a favorite meal of hers. The dreaded day is finally over.

A Survivor's Story During the Season

On a winter's day in 2005, she gave birth to a beautiful daughter Lily Rose. Three month later, she was diagnosed with a life-altering disease called Pleural Mesothelioma. Knowing this is the beginning of a long and tiresome journey, her husband and my friend searched to find the best treatment care for Mesothelioma available. The three finally crossed paths with a renowned mesothelioma surgeon named Dr. David Sugarbaker based in Boston at the Brigham and Women's hospital. As a seven-year mesothelioma cancer survivor, she has made it her mission to help other victims of mesothelioma around the world. Raising awareness for other's that are going through this, she is sharing her personal story in hopes that one day no one will have to go through this terrible and life-altering cancer. Here is her story. See more at: http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/#.UrB-wGRDvPw

For the love of a sister

One of the most precious, genuine and melancholy relationships one can ever have will be with a sibling. If you attain one of these, your life will be filled with ups and downs but through it all, there is always someone who 'knows you best'. Having a sister would make most relationships with other women very humdrum. She is always there on a rainy day, always there to see your triumphs and let-downs throughout your life. My sister came into my life on a cold day in December while I was a 6 year old tomboy. I was so upset when my parents explained to me that they were going to welcome another bundle of joy in the family unit. I knew then that I had to start sharing my toys, offer hand-me-downs and learn how to deal with another type of personality. It was actually a good thing. I remember that I could hardly put her down when my mother allowed me to hold her on the couch. I used to rock her while she was in her bassinet with my foot while my mother was preparing dinner. I loved her more and more with each rocking of the foot. I was well into the year of kindergarten. I loved my family, friends and life.Baby in tub Throughout the years of having a little sister was a very different experience. While she was just starting kindergarten herself, she was instructed to learn the basics, for instance, counting to 10, alphabet in the english language, color, etc. Our mother was a single parent which in turn, labelled us as 'latch key' kids of the 1980s. As the eldest child, I was instructed to walk my siblings home from the bus stop, make sure they finish their homework, clean the house the best I can,make simple dinners for them and (at times) make sure they take a bath and get prepared for the next day of school. Because of my attentiveness to my little sister's needs, she walked into her first day of kindergarten with the knowledge of being able to count to one-hundred, knew her ABCs, knew how to differentiate between primary and secondary colors and could read and construct a few sentences at command. Not only did she benefit from this experience seeing her grow mentally, but I grew as well. Fast forward to October 1987. I was in high school while she was in middle school. Our mother was still the glue that held my siblings together. I was still in charge of making sure everyone came home from school with all the other responsibilities that was mentioned earlier. Unfortunately, I was stricken with a stroke at the tender age of sixteen. My siblings had thought they had lost their big sister, especially my little sister. While I lay in bed, she wouldn't know what to say or how to act towards me. Things were different between us. Physically, I am the big sister and she is the little sister. Unfortunately, from a mental aspect, she was the big sister. Most of the intellect that I have acquired over the years had left me in a vegetated state. As the months and years went by, I slowly regained my intelligence again, because of her. She was the one who would read with me, re-taught me the alphabet, re-taught me how to count, re-taught me how to differentiate between my primary and secondary colors and re-construct a few sentences at command. So if it weren't for her, I would not be here to tell you my story.

Oh Well, It Will Have To Do.

I have never been one for decorations in any holiday. Getting presents and wrapping them as quick as I can is the only way I see things...for the last decade of my life. Fortunately this year, with the baby on the way, I am starting to find the Christmas spirit and decided to by a Christmas tree for my living room. As I was walking into the Christmas tree section of a local popular store, I noticed they were selling fake trees at a low cost. I decided that I had better snatch this tree up because they won't last long at this price. I brought my 'good buy' home and wasn't too sure where I wanted to set it up. I chose the corner of the living room which would (in my own opinion) would bring this house together. After I made sure of the area that I decided to set my tree, my daughter turned the television on to "Sound of Music" musical. Trying to make heads or tails of which side is which to set the tree, I hear in the background "Do Re Mi" in the background. Let me explain to you that I do not like musicals. I am very happy with "The Nightmare Before Christmas" or any other books and movies by Henry Selick and/or Tim Burton. But I can't believe that I have grown so soft as to like....even remotely of "Sound of Music". Its a classic, right? But so is "The Grinch". As I am pulling out these pipe-cleaning look-a-like branches from a thin box, I find the directions on how to set-up a christmas tree. "Need help? Do not call the store, go to our website" was in big red letters on the little pamphlet. "Man," I muttered under my breath. "I can't even get instructions when (and I will) mess up this pathetic tree?" I just shrugged my shoulders and continued on trying to figure out what branch goes where, standing it up to find another connecting part. Pretty soon I was able to connect the bottom half of the tree with the little stand that the manufacturers supplied in the cardboard box. Standing in the corner, I couldn't help but notice the top part of the tree was rather crooked. I tried and tried to straighten it out. The bottom half of the tree was straight, maybe a connecting part to the top was off kilter? No. I discovered that the whole stem of the tree shifted to the left.. Just my luck to buy a tree at such a low price only to have a malfunction... Oh well, it will have to do. Next comes lights! I can do this! We have new ones from last year still in the box! This will be easier to set up on this tree! I remember when I was little and my father was in charge of getting the lights up on the tree, he would stretch them across the living room to see if they all work together. It reminded me of being on a stage (which I was accustomed to because of my dance recitals) so that is what I decided to do. Although it was a little tree that I had bought, the same memories of my father were appearing in my mind while I checked every bulb connection. Finally I was able to set them on the tree in windy-fashioned from the top branch to the base. As I finish my task, I realize that I started with the wrong plug. Now in my house, I am all for feminism, equal rights and what-not, but I didn't know that it had to do with the 'female' plug on top and the 'male' on the bottom of the tree. I needed it to plug it in the socket that was next to where I had set the tree up. After I had the pain-staking task to remove all the lights off the tree and turn the 'little gems' back around so they will fit accordingly. After I finished doing this, I sat down on the couch, looked at my sorry little tree and threw up my hands. Oh well, it will have to do. Now it was time to decorate...REAL decorating! I found a string of red beads to string along the tree. It wasn't a very gaudy color and I thought it would look quite nice with the surrounding ornaments that dangled back and forth. I had also found a few momento ornaments from when I was young and what my daughter made for me when she was a child. I still have to get a few things to make it 'my own' christmas tree. I have to also put up my daughter's Christmas stocking and my cat Shaddow's Christmas stocking. Can't forget about our furry family members! :) As I look at my little Christmas tree, I think to myself "Oh well, it will have to do". Merry Christmas Everyone! :)

Braxton Hicks or no?

She woke up this morning excited about attending her English class, rushing around will multi-tasking as she eats her oatmeal and brushes her hair. I am in the kitchen making her lunch and finding different things that she can eat that would be healthy for her as well. The hours that she was in school allowed me to decide how to maneuver my day. All of a sudden I get a text that she is experiencing pain. Omg it's too early so it can't be time! We rush to the hospital to make sure my grand baby and her mommy are ok. She is then rushed to the Birthing Center to monitor their heartbeats. I am sitting in a lonely waiting room hoping to hear good news that they are both alright. Pacing in the hall, my mother come out of the room to tell me that she is going to be just fine. Meanwhile I am hungry and tired. All in all, I still feel blessed.

Grandparenting Style: What will be my role??

As I reading different articles that I find on the internet, I notice that I have a lot to live up to in March. It makes me thankful that I have the internet to learn about new things instead of not knowing what I should expect. I have often read that finding roles in grandparenting is more of an unscientific study but it is fun to read about it. In many classifications, basing a name for a certain role in grandparenting can take some research but it is a whole lotta fun just observing. But you will be who you will be, right?

I took a quiz about what kind of grandparent I would be, given I was in that situation of “what to do if your grandkid has a recital”, or “if you had a grandparent shirt, what would it say?” There were a few situations that I will not be in for many, many years to come...but I answered the best that I could possibly answer to the question. So what is my grandparenting style?

What's Your Grandparenting Style?

You're a Cool Grandparent!

You are not the stereotypical grandparent. For one thing, you're totally at ease with technology. You're likely to be young in years, but you are definitely young at heart. You love movies, music, video games and other diversions that you can share with your grandchildren once they get old enough. You're not really into baking, knitting or gardening, and you're not a great fan of family history. You're more interested in living in the here and now, and your grandchildren will appreciate that.

As I sit here in my living room, pondering on how gorgeous my little granddaughter will be, writing to you, my faithful readers, I fantasize about being able to introduce the internet to my little grandkid, introducing the right way. I want to be that cool grandparent that allows them to stay up on the weekends, gives them an extra helping of veggies in their plate (because we all know veggies are cool!) and the one who starts a 'tent' in the living room with the cushions and blankets.

Wow....this is going to be fun!

But I feel I have to let you all know of different kinds of grandparent styles if you don't already know them. Let me introduce you to a few of em....

The Pollyanna Grandmother

I want to tell you now. I totally suck at cooking. But I can maintain a garden. Being in this style would not be for me. I can see it now....I am not going to be the grandmother that will babysit on a dime...or will I? But I do want to be known as the grandmother that loses patience quickly. But I want to be the grandmother that sends gifts through the mail....just because.

The Grumpy Grandmother 

I think I am a pretty good expert at this. Since I am in my middle 40s, a 'woman-on-the-edge', I can understand a lot about what a grumpy grandparent can be. Never letting anyone know that underneath it all they are a real softie, they give themselves away by buying ice cream for everyone or playing board games with the kids. I just know that a little part of me will be this kind of grandparent. I wouldn't want to be the person that ever threatens my grandchild in any way.

Taking charge kind of grandmother

This is in no-way me. I don't like to have the responsibility all on my shoulders and if something goes wrong, its all my fault. No-sir-ee. But if my grandchild needs me for anything, responsibility or not...I will be there. This sounds sort of wishy-washy of my personal life because, really, I don't give out advice, I'm not teacher material and I have a hard time taking my OWN advice. But it is true, I want to be the one who buys necessities for her as much as I can..and she can always come to me if she needs someone to listen. So I guess I will be a 'little' bit of a 'taking charge' kind of grandmother.

A Crunchy kind of grandmother

These types of grandmothers are those who preserved some type of skills of what our forefathers had but with a twist. She can feed the entire neighborhood healthy foods with little to nothing in her cupboards (who does this remind you of) and make a fun lesson out of taking care of the planet. Not only does she read to them but she makes sure they have hit every museum in the nearest metropolis, teaching them skills to live off the land or bringing them to various ethnical celebrations and different cultural ceremonies.

http://grandparents.about.com/od/grandparentingtoday/a/GrandparentRoles.htm

Love me or hate me, I have a feeling that I am going to be a little of all these grandparent styles. Which one are you? Or which one do you think you will be? As I have said before, I love comments. So please let me know.....

The promise ring

My family has many wonderful memories. As with so many families in the 80s, we were brought up by a single mother. Her life was devoted only to us and that is the best present anyone can give. My mother is a very special person who has taught me to become an up-standing human being and a devoted mother. She is the reason I am the mother that I am today. Today we were invited to have dinner at her house to decorate the Christmas tree. If there is anyone that loves Christmas, it is her. She loves the music, the giving and the feeling the season has when the spirit for your fellow man is strong. I will always remember the relationship between my beautiful mother and her favorite time of year. After dinner, my daughter was rummaging through her jewelry box. My mother had spoken of many stories of each piece of jewelry. We sat and listened to her wisdom as she had a gleam in her eye, telling us who she bought them from, what event it was originally for, and what the story was behind that particular piece. She kept us enthralled for an hour listening to her memories. One particular item was a ring. My daughter tried to put it on her finger but it was too small. My mother told us about the wonderful memory behind the ring. It was given to her on Christmas morning by my little sister from "Santa's Workshop" in elementary school. My mother was so happy to open up the christmas gift from my five year old sister. As my sister watched her open it proudly, she tells her, "When I get married, I really want you to wear this." My mother, surrounded by mountains of ripped-up Christmas wrappings took my little sister in her arms and held her tight. Secretly, my mother vowed not only to keep it safely in her jewelry box, but to keep it close to her heart. Busy, busy, busy....no one could predict my little sister welcoming such a big family into her house and heart. Last June was the deadline to an amazing day, her wedding to the man of her dreams. Tall, dark and handsome was the man she would marry. But their day was so beautiful. As I walked down the aisle as a bridesmaid (never a bride), I notice the beautiful decorations of the trestle with delicate flowers intertwined from the ceiling to the floor. I had to stay in step with the music while I walked down the aisle  as I was enchanted with the decorations and the surreal feeling that my little sister has finally found the happiness she so richly deserved. The music changed tones to the classic song "Pachebel Canon" and the beautiful bride waiting with my mom, arm in arm, to walk down the aisle to her future husband. My mother shows her the ring that she bought her when she was a kindergartener. Tears streamed down my sisters eyes at that moment. They continued walking down the aisle for my mother to rightfully give away her daughter to a man who the whole family, like my sister, had fallen in love with.

My Spirit: this seasons last football game

Walking up to the football field with my whole family was a treat. There were the aunts, uncles, grandmothers, cousins, daughters, step-children and babies. My youngest of my many nephews had so much fun with all of his siblings (half and step) surrounding him. He will be three years older than my grand daughter and (as my sister and I are planning) to have them grow up together and become in the same social groups. That would make me a very happy Titi and Grandmother. Making our way through the crowds, we had to pay to get in the game at a make-shift desk with a couple of the mothers who have children in the football game. I opted to buy raffle ticket for a $50 coupon to benefit my nephew's football team. Everyone in our group had walked over to the grandstand to find themselves a seat on the cold, metal bleachers. There is my beautiful nephew, my "Spirit" in a crowd of young boys donned in football gear. My sister always introduced sports to the kids to teach them that "Its not winning or losing, its how you play the game". I appreciated it when she introduced my daughter to softball as a child. There is a reason why I had something in common with NASA as I was waiting for his birth. It was in the early part of January 2004. My mother went to the hospital to be with my sister as she was giving birth and I wanted to sit by the phone and wait for any news. Remember this was South Florida and the sun was setting in the west. I decided to turn on CNN to watch NASA anxiously awaiting a satellite drop both Opportunity and Spirit Rovers on the Martian surface.  (Opportunity was dropped 2 weeks later.) Watching the scientists watch the satellite was so exciting as I am sitting on my couch in the air conditioning, holding a remote control in one hand and a cell phone in the other. It is about 8 p.m. and the first rover drops, bounces in a balloon-like vessel then lands with pure grace. Mission Control I get a phone call *as Mission Control is cheering* to learn that I have a beautiful nephew that just entered our world as we know it. Funny.....I am jumping up and down cheering along with NASA Mission Control for the same thing. Welcoming two beautiful vessels into a new world. I love you, my Spirit, my nephew. Love, Titi

A little piece of reality

My daughter...sleepy one minute, hungry the next, sensitive at one point but becomes hormonal during the next. Keeping up with what is going on inside of her is always a race for me. Her sleeping schedule is all wrong, her eating schedule is all wrong but I vow to be there for her whenever she needs me. I am the one that runs to the store for one of her famous craving. And I want it that way, wrong or right.....

One of the many cravings she has.

She now looks like a real pregnant woman. As the weeks go on, her belly gets bigger and bigger. Many of her tee-shirts aren't as fitting as they once were. Keeping the clothes on one side of the closet to save for after the pregnancy is what she is doing right now. Friends have been offering baby clothes and other important items which seem to be growing bigger and bigger by the week. As we walk around the neighborhood to get exercise, I notice a little waddle in her steps. I honestly never thought I would see that.

Spending time with your mother must be a very important thing to her. It is important that I get to spend time with her as well. There are many days that we are both watching our favorite shows together but with our laptops on our laps. As she's growing older, we seem to have been finding common ground more and more. This makes my heart soar. I have been told when she was a baby that she will 'come back' and become my friend again. I think that time is about to return.

Before we go to bed, as a tradition, I like to go in and tuck her into bed. I have been doing this since she was a baby and I am happy to continue. Unfortunately last year, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. It has been hard for me to do the things that I have done in the past on my bad days. November 8th was one of those bad days. My daughter decided to come into my room and tuck *me* in, making sure I have a bottle of water on my nightstand, fluffing my pillow and pulling my blankets over me, (even tucking in my feet) so I don't get cold at night. As she lay there next to me, she tenderly grabs my hand to set it on her stomach. After 15 minutes of waiting, I finally felt her daughter kick! It is such a great feeling to know there is someone coming into my life that will change me in so many ways but this is throwing me into reality: there IS a human growing inside my daughter's belly and now I have proof! Now I felt it for myself! If reality didn't set in at that moment, I don't know *what* would!