Experiencing both sides of the generational fence

If there was one thing I have always wanted to do if Mamae was still alive would be to introduce her to the internet. I bet she would have loved the ability to chat with people from different countries or find that her inbox was filled with daily recipes for her to try...or critique. I have always heard from my mother that Mamae was an excellent cook. Not just excellent but rivaling with the likes of Anthony Bourdain, Emeril Lagasse, Wolfgang Puck or Jamie Oliver. She was that good. Believe me when I tell you I have heard plenty of stories. I was lucky enough to be born in a time when we didn't have to worry about checking-in to our parents every 15 minutes to be sure that we are safe. We came home from playing hide-and-go-seek or ghost-in-the-graveyard well after the streetlights turned on. We were able to drink out of a garden hose and not have our parents worry if there is some kind of metallic poison running through the water hose. I can remember living in Ft. Carson, CO as a six year old sitting in the front seat of the car without a seatbelt. But I am also very lucky to be a part of the technological age. There is no way I could live without my laptop or cell phone. I have departed ways with the days of cable television (or even rabbit ears for that matter). Like everyone else in the 21st century, my home phone is not attached to the wall...except when its charging. Even my own mother, who is a proud member of the 'baby boomers', would not be able to survive without her Netflix running through her Wii on her smartTV. Still...she needs her cable in her life. That is probably the only thing from her past that she still holds dear to her heart. I, however am trying to break free from the cable company. Have you ever met a person in their 60s that texts with their loved ones on a regular

basis? She Facetimes us when we are giving the baby a bath or other times when Victoria does something new and wonderful. Technology is a wonderful thing so far. And I am so glad I got to experience both sides of the fence.

The Hip Grandmother presents...Victoria finds out a bouncer is more than just a place to sit!!

All in the name of Baseball!!!

Next week will be my daughter's 21st birthday. I don't know how I feel about that. She isn't my 'little ladybug' anymore but has her own 'little ladybug' now. She will be a full fledged adult and the change isn't easy for me to accept. Now all I have are memories of her in her uniforms of the many clubs and teams she had joined. Being a single mom since she was four, I was the lucky one for being there at all those meetings and baseball games. My daughter was one of only two girls on an all-boy baseball team. After weeks of research, I wasn't able to find an all-female team. After calling the local paper, we were to meet at a municipal park that was down the road from where my daughter and I lived. I can't remember if we were the first ones at the park or the last ones there but I do remember it was sort of nerve-racking trying to find the place. We had a great time at practices. I usually sit alone. But I did learn that over half the team's mothers were single moms...like me. Struggling Sara at last practice to keep their children in a healthy home....like I was. Not only did a baseball team with wonderful little individuals join together but we, as single mothers, found strength and hope in each other that formed lasting relationships. Little did I know that one of the baseball players and his mom became one of our Facebook friends, Google friends and our best friends in good times and in bad. My favorite memory about that time in my daughter's life is meeting very good friends on the bleachers, watching our loves play ball (and hard), then meeting up at the local Taco Bell restaurant after practice. Those are days I will miss.

Who is that baby in the cell phone?

After a hard day, this smile cheers me up!

It seems as I get older its harder and harder to accept things. I don't always mean to be such a snot, but I am. I want Victoria and I to have a very healthy relationship without any distractions from anyone, including my daughter. I know that sounds harsh but that is how I feel. Today was the day that was decided who has custodial rights to Victoria. I woke up early in the morning to rush to Victoria's crib while her mother was still sleeping in her bed. Her little diaper was full from her deep slumber through the hours of eight o'clock pm til six o'clock am. She has had this type of sleep schedule for a few months now and I am not changing it by sleeping in. My daughter wakes in my absence to take care of her so I am comforted to know that she will wake up at an appropriate hour every day. But today was an extra important day for me to spend with my Photon.

As I am sitting on the couch in a quiet room, I feed her and she is looking directly into my eyes as if to tell me, “Everything will be alright today, Grandma Titi.” My eyes well up with tears trying to believe that they aren't going to take my grand daughter away. I have invested so much time and energy into knowing her, having her know who I am. Holding on to her tight, I start crying but knowing that little girl will never know how scared I am and how heartbreaking it is to see her go. But then I have to realize on how the other grandmother feels. Nana. She is and wants to be an important part of her first and only grand daughter's life too. It's hard to 'share'. I never had to share my daughter with her father so this was really hard for me. Nana deserves to have special times with her grand daughter too. Why is that so hard for me to realize? I stayed home babysitting Victoria and my two nephews while my bestie came over with her two children. We spent the day watching the boys play while we took turns holding Victoria, passing her back and forth as if it were our last time. My bestie is the best bestie I have ever had. She came over with her boys in a pirate ensemble to entice my nephews with a scavenger hunt. They came with eye-patches, pirate hats, scarves and a treasure map for the kids to discover a bounty full of gold coins hidden in the house.

At the end of the day, I learn that the verdict is actually in everyone's favor. My daughter gets full custody while Victoria's father sees her part of the week. That is pretty fair. But why do I still feel stressed? I've been stressed throughout her little life of three months. But I have been extra stressed starting in the month of June. Now you know why I haven't been adding many blog posts. I have to admit I have lost a lot of followers but my true followers have stayed tuned for my updates. And for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's been a hard month but I promise I will provide more interesting reading material for my followers.

The Hip Grandmother presents...Victoria seeing herself on video for the first time!

Victoria the Water Baby

Its summertime in the northern hemisphere of our wonderful home and with the beauty of the weather, we all want to go out and play. What? You say babies can't? Oh they certainly can (with a lot of precautions). The leaves on the trees have finally emerged from their deep sleep, the bees (although very scarce) are buzzing around the flowers hoping to get pollen and spread it around. I guess that is why I love bees so much. There is a light breeze flowing in the air and the sun seems to dance around a few cirrus clouds in the sky. Yes, summertime is finally here for us to enjoy, even for babies.

When I gave birth to my daughter, it was the middle of summer in South Florida. It was hot, humid and I was miserable. My only daily ensemble that I wore was a tank top with shorts (and as most natives do) wore nothing but flip-flops. The only comfort that I could find would be in a room with an air conditioner. That was it. That was all I needed. Fortunately my daughter gave birth right before spring. The days were often over-cast with a cool breeze at night. Given the earlier phenomenon of the Polar Vortex, the predictions of the weather haven't been simple to forecast. The seasons are now upon us earlier on the East Coast of the US than before. But what about that hot sun? Isn't it funny that the sun is only in it's “middle-aged” years but to us, we often feel like a newly hatched egg on a hot sidewalk cooking ever-so-slowly? Last saturday, my daughter and Victoria were invited to a pool party. This was her first time without any parental advice and had to go at it alone. Understandably I was scared, but not as scared as I thought I would be. My daughter was well-equipped with mothering information. After all, she is the one with the instinct so why should I butt in? My daughter proved to me that she can tackle this 'mothering skill' and I have to have more faith in her. Getting her things together from room to room, I was following her with a mental checklist offering advice of what I would think she might need. After the advice was given to her, she prepared Victoria's diaper bag that has Winnie the Pooh across the front. A family member bought her some “swimmer” diapers for Victoria to wear while she was in the pool. Donned with sunscreen, sunglasses and a hat, my grand daughter was almost ready to go to the party. With a full diaper bag of regular size 2 diapers, wipes, 5 empty bottles, powder formula and a bottle of drinking water, she was set into her carrier that is also “Winnie the Pooh” print. Her ride (from a family member) finally came to pick her up. She was so excited that she can finally get out of the house and spend some quality time with family. Of course I was texting her every five minutes to ask if the air was on in the car on the way, was she too cold if the air, in fact, was on too much. I would ask if she was hungry or if it is time for her next feeding. Or even if she needed a diaper change and I am not there to do it. Still, I am only the grandmother. But my daughter came to her baby's rescue. I was happy to learn that she only had her in the sun for approximately 5 minutes, (just to take a few pictures) that she was indeed in a pool setting. Dressed in her long onsie, hat (that covered her neck as well), sunglasses and sunscreen, my daughter walked with her across the shallow end of the pool. She knew that you shouldn't keep a baby out in the direct sun and stayed for the next 10 minutes under the overhang of the pool deck. As soon as she got

home, Victoria was whisked away to a bath. My daughter knew that sunscreen wasn't good for baby's skin so she carefully washed it away with a wash cloth. After careful examination, Victoria was 'lotioned up' and fitted with a brand-new onsie as she sat in her lounger (better known as her throne).

The Wonderful New World of Educational Programs

There are so many things that Victoria can discover. She has made a new friend on her excursions. His name is Mr. Clock. Victoria is constantly cooing and smiling at Mr. Clock. Unfortunately Mr. Clock doesn't talk or smile back. Still. Victoria has made a friend. Also, Miss Victoria has just discovered something new. Her auntie and my best friend brought her a few videos that she thought she would be interested in. Guess what? She was interested in them! Victoria had watched the video “Little Einstein: Mozart” and the colors had excited her. The movement of the different colors excited her. This stimulation keeps her brain developing with color stimulation. I realize that she can not see patterns just yet but this helps her learn and exercise her senses.

My daughter and grand daughter having fun with the camera

My daughter and grand daughter having fun with the camera

Scheduling a seven week old

It seems like Victoria Renee came with instructions. Am I speaking too soon? Well, the child loves to sleep..and eat..and sleep some more. My daughter was like that. And Victoria's Nana, Daddy's mom confessed that he was a very easy child too. When people talk about 'children do not come with instructions', I assume they are speaking about their parental instinct. Some are stronger than others, I can imagine. But learning your child's language before they can speak seems to be a feat my daughter and daddy has already learned. It seemed so simple that I would like to think I know what Victoria is saying.

A few weeks ago, I was searching online on how one can start a sleeping schedule for their child. I've been racking my brain to remember how I put my daughter on a sleep schedule but unfortunately it has been too long. Luckily for my own forgetful mind, there is the internet. I've read almost every website dealing with 'what to expect' and I have come to the conclusion that this 'scheduling' is a personal thing. The cues I have learned from Victoria have been pretty easy to read. She prefers to be changed before eating?? (I thought that was the norm with babies.) She is also pretty active with the cooing and chatting, exploring and smiling after her bottle. I made it a habit to keep her upright for at least 20 minutes after eating. It has helped with the reflux which is now subsided. She has also made a little friend! Mr. Clock! We have a clock hanging up in the living room. She absolutely loves it! She stares at it constantly and even tries to coo at it as if she is having a conversation with only two of them in the room. But the best part of this whole scenario is that she began to smile....and Grandma Titi was the first one she smiled at!! All in all, she has a way of communicating with me without crying. She uses her eyes and I see that, just before she starts to smile on her face, I can see it forming in her eyes first. She's actually a pretty fun little person.

By now, Victoria can recognize different colors and shapes with detail. Just a little bit of detail. She mostly sits on her lounger to get a glimpse of Mr. Clock and her mother and I offer her rattles or hand-sized stuffed animals so she can become more stimulated with every new shape and design. After this, her mother lays a blanket on the floor, sets the toys around her and lays Victoria on her belly. I've heard this is a great way for them to get ready to crawl. I hear it is termed “Tummy Time”. It's great to see her try to lift her head and her arms try to support her upper-body. It must take so much energy away from her because she falls fast asleep as soon as she's done! For right now, she is comfortable and happy. Next week she goes in for her two-month check-up and will have to have immunizations. That will not be fun but it will keep her healthy.