After a hard day, this smile cheers me up!

It seems as I get older its harder and harder to accept things. I don't always mean to be such a snot, but I am. I want Victoria and I to have a very healthy relationship without any distractions from anyone, including my daughter. I know that sounds harsh but that is how I feel. Today was the day that was decided who has custodial rights to Victoria. I woke up early in the morning to rush to Victoria's crib while her mother was still sleeping in her bed. Her little diaper was full from her deep slumber through the hours of eight o'clock pm til six o'clock am. She has had this type of sleep schedule for a few months now and I am not changing it by sleeping in. My daughter wakes in my absence to take care of her so I am comforted to know that she will wake up at an appropriate hour every day. But today was an extra important day for me to spend with my Photon.

As I am sitting on the couch in a quiet room, I feed her and she is looking directly into my eyes as if to tell me, “Everything will be alright today, Grandma Titi.” My eyes well up with tears trying to believe that they aren't going to take my grand daughter away. I have invested so much time and energy into knowing her, having her know who I am. Holding on to her tight, I start crying but knowing that little girl will never know how scared I am and how heartbreaking it is to see her go. But then I have to realize on how the other grandmother feels. Nana. She is and wants to be an important part of her first and only grand daughter's life too. It's hard to 'share'. I never had to share my daughter with her father so this was really hard for me. Nana deserves to have special times with her grand daughter too. Why is that so hard for me to realize? I stayed home babysitting Victoria and my two nephews while my bestie came over with her two children. We spent the day watching the boys play while we took turns holding Victoria, passing her back and forth as if it were our last time. My bestie is the best bestie I have ever had. She came over with her boys in a pirate ensemble to entice my nephews with a scavenger hunt. They came with eye-patches, pirate hats, scarves and a treasure map for the kids to discover a bounty full of gold coins hidden in the house.

At the end of the day, I learn that the verdict is actually in everyone's favor. My daughter gets full custody while Victoria's father sees her part of the week. That is pretty fair. But why do I still feel stressed? I've been stressed throughout her little life of three months. But I have been extra stressed starting in the month of June. Now you know why I haven't been adding many blog posts. I have to admit I have lost a lot of followers but my true followers have stayed tuned for my updates. And for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's been a hard month but I promise I will provide more interesting reading material for my followers.

The Hip Grandmother presents...Victoria seeing herself on video for the first time!

Victoria the Water Baby

Its summertime in the northern hemisphere of our wonderful home and with the beauty of the weather, we all want to go out and play. What? You say babies can't? Oh they certainly can (with a lot of precautions). The leaves on the trees have finally emerged from their deep sleep, the bees (although very scarce) are buzzing around the flowers hoping to get pollen and spread it around. I guess that is why I love bees so much. There is a light breeze flowing in the air and the sun seems to dance around a few cirrus clouds in the sky. Yes, summertime is finally here for us to enjoy, even for babies.

When I gave birth to my daughter, it was the middle of summer in South Florida. It was hot, humid and I was miserable. My only daily ensemble that I wore was a tank top with shorts (and as most natives do) wore nothing but flip-flops. The only comfort that I could find would be in a room with an air conditioner. That was it. That was all I needed. Fortunately my daughter gave birth right before spring. The days were often over-cast with a cool breeze at night. Given the earlier phenomenon of the Polar Vortex, the predictions of the weather haven't been simple to forecast. The seasons are now upon us earlier on the East Coast of the US than before. But what about that hot sun? Isn't it funny that the sun is only in it's “middle-aged” years but to us, we often feel like a newly hatched egg on a hot sidewalk cooking ever-so-slowly? Last saturday, my daughter and Victoria were invited to a pool party. This was her first time without any parental advice and had to go at it alone. Understandably I was scared, but not as scared as I thought I would be. My daughter was well-equipped with mothering information. After all, she is the one with the instinct so why should I butt in? My daughter proved to me that she can tackle this 'mothering skill' and I have to have more faith in her. Getting her things together from room to room, I was following her with a mental checklist offering advice of what I would think she might need. After the advice was given to her, she prepared Victoria's diaper bag that has Winnie the Pooh across the front. A family member bought her some “swimmer” diapers for Victoria to wear while she was in the pool. Donned with sunscreen, sunglasses and a hat, my grand daughter was almost ready to go to the party. With a full diaper bag of regular size 2 diapers, wipes, 5 empty bottles, powder formula and a bottle of drinking water, she was set into her carrier that is also “Winnie the Pooh” print. Her ride (from a family member) finally came to pick her up. She was so excited that she can finally get out of the house and spend some quality time with family. Of course I was texting her every five minutes to ask if the air was on in the car on the way, was she too cold if the air, in fact, was on too much. I would ask if she was hungry or if it is time for her next feeding. Or even if she needed a diaper change and I am not there to do it. Still, I am only the grandmother. But my daughter came to her baby's rescue. I was happy to learn that she only had her in the sun for approximately 5 minutes, (just to take a few pictures) that she was indeed in a pool setting. Dressed in her long onsie, hat (that covered her neck as well), sunglasses and sunscreen, my daughter walked with her across the shallow end of the pool. She knew that you shouldn't keep a baby out in the direct sun and stayed for the next 10 minutes under the overhang of the pool deck. As soon as she got

home, Victoria was whisked away to a bath. My daughter knew that sunscreen wasn't good for baby's skin so she carefully washed it away with a wash cloth. After careful examination, Victoria was 'lotioned up' and fitted with a brand-new onsie as she sat in her lounger (better known as her throne).

The Wonderful New World of Educational Programs

There are so many things that Victoria can discover. She has made a new friend on her excursions. His name is Mr. Clock. Victoria is constantly cooing and smiling at Mr. Clock. Unfortunately Mr. Clock doesn't talk or smile back. Still. Victoria has made a friend. Also, Miss Victoria has just discovered something new. Her auntie and my best friend brought her a few videos that she thought she would be interested in. Guess what? She was interested in them! Victoria had watched the video “Little Einstein: Mozart” and the colors had excited her. The movement of the different colors excited her. This stimulation keeps her brain developing with color stimulation. I realize that she can not see patterns just yet but this helps her learn and exercise her senses.

My daughter and grand daughter having fun with the camera

My daughter and grand daughter having fun with the camera

Scheduling a seven week old

It seems like Victoria Renee came with instructions. Am I speaking too soon? Well, the child loves to sleep..and eat..and sleep some more. My daughter was like that. And Victoria's Nana, Daddy's mom confessed that he was a very easy child too. When people talk about 'children do not come with instructions', I assume they are speaking about their parental instinct. Some are stronger than others, I can imagine. But learning your child's language before they can speak seems to be a feat my daughter and daddy has already learned. It seemed so simple that I would like to think I know what Victoria is saying.

A few weeks ago, I was searching online on how one can start a sleeping schedule for their child. I've been racking my brain to remember how I put my daughter on a sleep schedule but unfortunately it has been too long. Luckily for my own forgetful mind, there is the internet. I've read almost every website dealing with 'what to expect' and I have come to the conclusion that this 'scheduling' is a personal thing. The cues I have learned from Victoria have been pretty easy to read. She prefers to be changed before eating?? (I thought that was the norm with babies.) She is also pretty active with the cooing and chatting, exploring and smiling after her bottle. I made it a habit to keep her upright for at least 20 minutes after eating. It has helped with the reflux which is now subsided. She has also made a little friend! Mr. Clock! We have a clock hanging up in the living room. She absolutely loves it! She stares at it constantly and even tries to coo at it as if she is having a conversation with only two of them in the room. But the best part of this whole scenario is that she began to smile....and Grandma Titi was the first one she smiled at!! All in all, she has a way of communicating with me without crying. She uses her eyes and I see that, just before she starts to smile on her face, I can see it forming in her eyes first. She's actually a pretty fun little person.

By now, Victoria can recognize different colors and shapes with detail. Just a little bit of detail. She mostly sits on her lounger to get a glimpse of Mr. Clock and her mother and I offer her rattles or hand-sized stuffed animals so she can become more stimulated with every new shape and design. After this, her mother lays a blanket on the floor, sets the toys around her and lays Victoria on her belly. I've heard this is a great way for them to get ready to crawl. I hear it is termed “Tummy Time”. It's great to see her try to lift her head and her arms try to support her upper-body. It must take so much energy away from her because she falls fast asleep as soon as she's done! For right now, she is comfortable and happy. Next week she goes in for her two-month check-up and will have to have immunizations. That will not be fun but it will keep her healthy.

The Easter Bunny: An Obtainable Goal

Boy! Are my dogs barking! What a fun day I had on Easter eve. This morning was no different from the rest, fixing bottles and preparing her diaper bag to spend the day with Victoria's daddy and her Nana. As we hurry to get ready to go see the elusive Easter Bunny, I make sure we have enough diapers and wipes while my daughter is getting her hair ready. This is Victoria's first Easter and we will get a picture even if we have to get an old stuffed animal out and set it next to her in the living room. But being parents and grandparents that we are, we want to make sure it is professionally done. At first, I thought it was silly to have a one-month old all gussied up to take a picture and not even know what was going on around her. I used to think that in my younger years. I remember when my daughter was still an infant, her father and I brought her to the mall to see Santa Claus. Well...her grandmother wanted a picture and I was too narrow-minded to see that they wanted a picture and enjoy their grandchild in the arms of Santa. Now I know how they originally felt. The night before my daughter's friend posted something on Facebook about the Easter Bunny and pictures in the mall of our little town. We made plans with Daddy and Nana to accompany us to achieve our goal. As we were walking into the courtyard in the mall, we noticed....nothing. No long lines, no kids running around chasing one another, no bows of pink and green to signify 'come take a picture with the Easter Bunny'. Nothing. My daughter went up to an employee to ask if the Easter Bunny already came for a visit to the mall. The lady looked at her and said, “We have decided not to have the Easter Bunny here this year.” This year? My grand daughter is finally born and you decide that you aren't going to have the Easter Bunny come to your mall this year?? Nana and I did not take the word 'NO'. Back to the car we go. We also heard about a park nearby and they were hosting the Easter Bunny. It was our town's Park and Recreation. If we hurry, we can finally lay our 'grandparent' eyes on this elusive Easter Bunny and snap a picture with him holding our bundle of joy. We see many people walking with their kids to their cars as they carry baskets of eggs and other belonging, collecting their children from running out into the street. We parked the car and I walked up to a bystander. I asked her if the Easter Bunny was going to show up today. “You missed him an hour ago! He was here but left!” I turned to Nana and threw my hands in the air. Nana wasn't going down without a fight either. We are going to see this child with an Easter Bunny even if we have to dress up like one ourselves and take a picture! Back at Nana's house, we had a lovely dinner: steak with baked potatoes and corn on the cob. It was good for us to gather our strength while we decide to go to the next city to see if they have an Easter Bunny on display. Nana called the mall clerk and received some good news. We found out that one of the bigger malls does have a professional Easter Bunny (and the best part is we can get pictures!) It was 20 minutes away but that didn't stop us. As we pulled into the mall, we could see a lot of people walking back and forth going into the doors of the mall, exiting the building. I was prepared to wait in line, no matter how long, just to see Victoria and the Easter Bunny. Walking into the courtyard, there is the Easter Bunny we have been searching for all day!!! AND the line wasn't long. I noticed people with baby carriages taking out their babies for the Easter Bunny to hold. I didn't feel so bad after that.

I want Victoria to know that there are so many people out there that care about her. That care about her being HERE. The love that her Nana and I express for her is so powerful. We are the lucky ones. We are Victoria's hip grandmothers.

Never Ending Sleepless Nights

There inside a baby's crib is a beautiful angel...an angel that refuses to sleep at night. How did this happen?? This little creature that I love to cuddle and hold against my body is an active night-owl in sheep's clothing. There has to be a better way before I go insane. Before my daughter goes insane. I understand that we couldn't set a sleep schedule before because she was still a newborn. Thank heavens she has grown enough to step out of that category, or so I thought. It has been a ritual now that I go to bed early, my daughter stays up with Victoria til the wee hours of the morning. Then I wake up about 6 A.M. and let my daughter go to bed while I stay up and have bonding time with Victoria. Those days might be over.... So now we have to get on task. In order to have this child become a day person (which I am not and never have been), I am going to have to get strict with myself and strict with my grand daughter. Having said that, I have taken the liberty to research on how to keep an infant awake during the day. This will not be a fun ride but I have a feeling that the outcome will benefit us all in the long run. I understand that I have to be patient with her; it won't happen overnight. Even if she's up most of the night, I have to stick with the time my daughter thinks is best. For right now, that time will be 8 A.M. We are instructed to keep the shades open while she attempts to fall back asleep. Gosh that seems so barbaric....she cries in frustration because she can't get what she needs....or wants. I am going to have to play lively music during the day or even have the television on. Noise is going to happen in our home anyway. She will just have to deal with the fact that we aren't censoring ourselves anymore.

As the days and/or weeks go on while we are striving for our goal of having her sleep at night rather than the day, we keep in mind that this feat isn't going to happen overnight. Patience is going to play a big part in this scenario but united with my daughter, we will help my grand daughter through this. http://www.babycenter.com/404_my-baby-is-up-all-night-and-sleeps-all-day-how-can-i-get-him_3129.bc

One month old and her instructions are clearer!!!

Ok. Ok. By now you know how excited I am about this little bundle of joy. What you don't know is all the things she has had to deal with through this whole month. If you can remember, she had to deal with constipation in (what is my opinion) the worst way. She was rushed to Children's Hospital in Knoxville only to get her first x-ray showing that she was engorged. After an enema and five diapers later, she was good to go home. Her mother then made an appointment with her doctor and had been instructed to use oatmeal cereal (1 tsp per 1 ounce) and that should help with the constipation. It did help...until the following week when we had the next problem...gas! Newborns come home to parents that wish these babies came with instructions. Sometimes even the grandparents are at a loss to what the newborn is actually crying about. Just like everyone else in the free world, we have all the information we will ever need at our fingertips. Google, Bing, Yahoo....the list does go on. Poor baby had been dealing with acid reflux! I did notice when she refusing her pacifier after a certain amount of time. It probably had acid from her tummy on it. Again, her mother made an appointment to her pediatrician to rectify this problem. She was given liquid Zantac. Zantac! For a baby? I've never heard of anything like that but I do hear that it does work and has been prescribed to a lot of babies dealing with this problem. I didn't have this problem when my daughter was an infant so again, this was all new to me. Now that we are at the 'month' mark of her little life so far, she seems so much healthier and happier. She does sleep a lot (especially throughout the night) with one feeding at 5 A.M. Maybe her 'instructions' are a bit easier for us to read. After all, every baby is different and a new individual. But then again, I heard newborns can get cranky if they need more sleep. I suppose she isn't ready to stay awake most of the day. This is the main reason we acquired a swing.

I've heard that swings can help with tired babies to rock them. And a little fact that I, myself have learned about Victoria. She likes music. Yes..she is put in her swing and rocks back and forth. She should be good, right? No. She calms down once the music is playing. After eating, I sit her in her lounger (I call it her throne) to help keep extra acid down and help her digest the last bottle she has been given. I do this for about 20-30 minutes. Then I put her in her swing and she listens to her music and eventually falls asleep. It sounds crazy but Victoria actually enjoys her music playing. (It must be from listening to the Beatles and Baroque music while she was in her mommy's stomach.) I agree that it is.

Hey Grandma Titi! I'm 3 weeks old!!!!

We have finally made it to THREE WEEKS! There is a lot that has gone on in this household. 'Somebody' has decided to start sleeping all day and is awake for most of the night. That does go with our 'former' sleep schedule. It was just my daughter and me when we would sleep til noon on weekends and at least nine during the weekdays. Ahhh what a change. And I am positive there will be more changes to come. The constipation she was experiencing has 'hopefully' come to an end. See, I was told that she has acid reflux. The pediatrician gave us the medicine she needed and because of the reflux that cleared up, her constipation went away. Thank goodness she can now lay comfortably in her swing and has stopped making those painful-looking facial expressions. Shaddow finally met her first hand. We have been leaving her blankets and spit-up rags out in the open for weeks so that he can smell her scent. Shaddow is a very, very good cat with an awesome disposition. We are very lucky to have

him. He did, however walked up to her swing (while she was in it) and smelled her hand. We watched him closely to see what he will do. What he did next surprised me. He started smelling her hand then rubbed his face on her hand. That means that he accepts her into his 'group' of 'fellow felines'. lol We took a picture of him during his meeting with her...then casually walked away. I believe we are still in the 'danger zone' for an infant. Every little fever or jolt that she has makes me jump. She is also trying to focus with her eyes. She seems to know both her parents. And the other day my daughter was holding her, I called to Victoria and she turned her head in my direction. I hope that means something.